Turn on CC (Closed Captioning) for the english translation!!!
So like Alones from last week, this week’s cover and translation of RSP’s 感謝。(Kansha.) is another ending song from Bleach (the anime). Kansha means “Thank You.” Japanese like many other languages has different ways of saying thank you. The one that you’re probably most familiar with is ありがとうと or arigatou. Arigatou is a casual way to say thanks, you use it with friends, family, or people that you’re close to for occasions like when they help you with something, or you get a gift. There are various different prefixes and suffixes you can add to it to increase the level of formality, here’s a list from casual to formal (non-comprehensive).
ありがとう
|
arigatou
|
ありがとうございます
|
arigatou gozaimasu
|
どうも
|
domo
|
どうもありがとうございます
|
domo arigatou gozaimasu
|
Arigatou is a word from Japanese origin, kansha is written using kanji (Chinese characters) and is a loanword from Chinese. Words that are borrowed from Chinese are usually more formal, used less often, and seen more in literature, scientific papers, or fancy speeches. So unlike arigatou, you wouldn’t use kansha when someone hands you a piece of gum, it means something more like “I’m thankful.” So when you use the word kansha, it’s something you want to express bottom of your heart.
So the natural transition is for me to start talking about things I’m grateful for, like my family (just finished our road trip together as I’m typing this from LAX), my friends, and the awesome experiences I’ve had in life until now. There’s clearly a lot to be grateful for, but instead let me update you a little on my life.
Last Tuesday (on the 7th) I was notified by the U.S. Department of State that I was selected as an alternate for the 2017 Critical Language Scholarship Program in Japanese. For those who don’t know what the program is, it is “a fully funded summer overseas language and cultural immersion program for American undergraduate and graduate students” (I copied and pasted their description). The program is equivalent to a whole year’s worth of study, and for someone who’s primarily self-studying it means so much because I could finally level up speaking which is 100% what I struggle the most with.
The Wikipedia page tells you that “with an acceptance rate of less than 10%, the Critical Language Scholarship is one of the most competitive scholarships in the U.S. and the most prestigious language programs for U.S. citizens,” and Japanese is one of the languages with the most applicants. To be an alternate is an honor, but let me show you some of the behind the scenes.
The application process has five short form essays, which as a whole should paint a picture of how dedicated you are to learning the language, show how you are ready to adapt to and absorb a different culture, and why this language matters in your personal goals for your future. The deadline for this year was Nov 16th of 2016, and I started writing my drafts during that summer. During the school year I met with Gillian (our school’s writing expert) on four different occasions, some drafts were spent rewriting the entire essay, some were spent tuning every word in a sentence to make the most of the 300 word limit. I know five drafts and five essays might not seem much to you, but I spent hours on hours pouring myself into this both in time and in my emotional investment.
When I finished, I thought that there was no way that I couldn’t get it. I ran it by Aarti (our grad school & fellowships person) and she was ecstatic, her enthusiasm confirmed my feelings and I felt indestructible.
February rolls around and I get notified that I’m a semi-finalist, at this point the forums said that I had a 50-50 shot. I didn’t actively search for jobs or post-grad plans during this entire time. My plan was I was going to get the CLS, study Japanese for two months, and then do a short two month internship at Mitsubishi Electric which would buy me time to figure out my life. You’re probably mentally face palming right now, how could I feel so infallible that my plan was to win a ludicrously competitive scholarship?
For me, being an alternate feels worse than just getting rejected. I had gotten so far, the trophy in my reaches, only to be told “uhh…I’m not sure you can, but maybe? Shrug.” I am the same as those who were stopped, my best was still not good enough, and looking out the backseat window I wonder, did I not sound like I wanted it enough? Could I’ve written a paragraph different? What did they have that I didn’t?
I still feel stuck in limbo, I keep checking my phone’s email hoping that I’ll see “CLS Status Notification,” hoping that I’ll get promoted. It wasn’t a clean cut, and it keeps me stuck and longing.
So yeah, I’m two months from graduating, and without a plan (not a game plan, but a life plan). I know that from today I’m going to hustle harder than I have been (it feels maybe a little preposterous to say “ever” have been), and hopefully by then, I’ll have something that I’m thankful for. 感謝。
Update (4/2)
Hey everyone, I wrote the above blog post approximately two weeks ago at the end of spring break, and hadn't got to publishing it. Now that I’ve gotten some distance from then, and my feelings have mellowed out a little more, I thought it wouldn’t be fair if I posted this without an update.
So I’m still not promoted to finalist status, which I’m not very surprised about. And since the end of spring break I’ve been trying to apply to a job a day, which has been a pretty rough process. The very first week back was definitely a low point with me questioning all my qualifications, but since then I’ve been talking to friends, and getting advice from people who’ve been there and done that, and it’s really boosted my moral.
I’m almost done finalizing my plans to work as a design intern at Mitsubishi Electric over the summer, I’ll be hanging around Kamakura for about ten weeks. I’m not too sure about what my plans are after that. But like the song, I want to thank everyone who has been supporting me in this anxious transition in life.
No comments:
Post a Comment